The Challenge of Language

When I arrived here at NPH, it was clear to me that my first two priorities had to be getting to know the children and learning their names, and improving my Spanish. The people a priest is ministering to need to feel like he knows and cares about them, and knowing their names goes a long way towards demonstrating this. In addition, a priest needs to communicate well if he is to be effective. I have made a lot of progress these first three months learning names- there are about 350 kids living here at NPH, plus about 140 employees and 20 adult volunteers.  I do not think I am particularly gifted when it comes to learning people’s names (some people have an impressive talent for this), but I do work hard at it and have found that sustained effort usually pays off. People are appreciative if they see that I am at least trying.

Language is another matter. My Spanish before coming down was passable- I managed to read the prayers at our Spanish Mass at St Alphonsus, and could write a homily that made sense (even if it was on the simple side). Conversationally, I could keep my head above water but I missed a lot. The greatest difficulty of my first weeks here was the exhaustion I felt at the end of each day after working hard to concentrate and understand what people were saying. It really was taxing trying to follow conversations and make sense of what was being said. Gratefully, after a month or so I found that I did not have to work so hard to keep up, and now I am at the point where I can pick up most of what I hear, even if I regularly have to ask people to repeat themselves. Both the kids and the adults have shown great patience with me, and I notice that it is getting easier and easier as time goes by.

Speaking continues to frustrate me. While those here tell me that I am doing fine, I am conscious of the fact that what is coming out of my mouth does not always match what I am thinking in my head. Casual conversation is not as much of a problem, but preaching and teaching religion class is a real challenge. I manage to say something, but it is not always what I want to say or the way I want to say it. I have come to realize just what a gift it is to be able to express oneself with language. There are a couple of kids here who are deaf-mutes, and my struggle to communicate has given me renewed empathy for them and for others challenged by this disability.

An image that has come to mind is that of those who have suffered stokes, leaving them unable to speak, or unable to speak properly. I have known many who clearly were able to think straight and formulate thoughts, yet were left struggling to formulate words and express themselves as they wanted to. Intensive therapy can sometimes help to regain speech, but it is a long road. The frustration is clear in the expressions on their faces and in their eyes. A sense of isolation settles in when they can hear and understand, but are unable to respond as they wish. Sometimes when I have visited people in the hospital after a stroke, I did all of the talking and just asked questions that they could respond to with a nod or a blink of their eyes. One woman I visited before leaving for Guatemala seemed to have her language skills intact at the beginning of the conversation. But it became quickly clear to me that she had lost a lot when she responded to everything I said with just the few stock phrases that were left to her. And while she used the same phrases for everything she wanted to say, her eyes and hand gestures communicated the rest.  

As I say: I manage to communicate for the most part, but it really is frustrating when what I say does not have the richness or accuracy of expression that it would have if I were speaking in English. Also, it seems like my personality in Spanish is not the same as my personality in English. And so a similar kind of isolation has settled in, which serves to motivate me to continue working hard to develop my vocabulary and grammar skills. I have a new empathy for immigrants others who struggle at home to speak English.  

Another issue for me is my pronunciation. My accent is not too bad; however I have never been able to manage the pronunciation of the Spanish “rr”- a unique letter in the Spanish alphabet that is pronounced by trilling the tongue. I butcher the pronunciation in such a way that it is not just an American accent, but an actual speech impediment. I am reminded of those who speak English with a lisp or who cannot pronounce the English “r” sound. These people are often mocked or looked down upon. Children who suffer from this are often taunted by their classmates in school. There are some aids on the internet that I can make use of to work on this, but I fear I may need to just accept that I have this impediment.

Accent reduction is something that foreign seminarians and priests are encouraged to work at. Because communication is so important, poor communication results in lots of missed opportunities. Also, it is easy to stop trying to improve one’s accent once one feels one is getting by. But I have always felt that Church communities deserve for their priests to continue trying to speak better. I want to keep this goal in front of me, even if my vocabulary and grammar improve to the point where I feel like I can say what I want to say the way I want to say it. Lots of American parishioners complain about the accents of their foreign-born priests. I hope that I will keep this in mind in the future, and continue to focus on sounding as much like a native speaker as is possible.

In the meantime, I am reminded of a saying attributed to Saint Francis of Assisi that seems apropos to my situation. He said: “Preach the Gospel; use words if you must.” To some extent, my ability to preach the Gospel here is compromised by my inability to express myself verbally as I would like. But I can focus on my actions, and try to communicate the message of Jesus and my interest in those here through my demeanor, my effort to learn to speak, and through my personal outreach. And I can thank God for the patience and understanding of the kids and adults at NPH.

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Holy Week is upon us, and there is a lot going on here. I will post some reflections and pictures as soon as I can afterwards.

Chapel update: We have begun to formally talk about this now, and after Easter I hope to connect with an architect to at least get the schematic design of the chapel drawn up. We know where the chapel will be built, and once we have some drawings I can proceed with the fundraising and develop a more accurate budget.